The Journey


Anybody out there?

Red eyed tree frog sitting on black cup

I haven't forgotten about you all, and I can only hope you haven't forgotten about me.

I've been so wrapped up in all this Crazy, it's hard to believe that it's been 2 months since I last shared with you all. And I don't mean the "crazy" kind of Crazy, I mean the "good" kind of Crazy.

In the month that the kids have been out of school, I've finished some artwork, completed some poetry, wrote a script for a play, submitted the aforementioned script to a theater company, and I am now working on a book.

But those aren't the reasons things have been the good kind of Crazy.

In the midst of all that, I have spent some amazing time with my family. The kind of time when you're almost too busy soaking it all up to remember to take pictures, much less blog about it. The kind of time when I am completely content with taking mental snapshots and allowing the memories to create their own captions on my heart.

However, one special moment I was able to capture was of me, my 8 children, my mother, my father, my brother and his wife and son all hand-in-hand around the wondrous Angel Oak tree.










Spending time with my family was beautiful and beautiful and grand as this phenomenal tree.

But once all the family celebrations, like my brother's visit, the Daddy Daughter Dance and my wedding anniversary getaway, began to slow down, I felt anxiety come on. The fussiness of life reared its ugly head...once again. I felt rushed and pressed for time. It's already July, only one month left to get all the things checked off of my Summertime To-Do List. Panic settled in and I felt paralyzed to it.

A couple of days ago, while in the shower, I heard a knock at the bathroom door followed by a shout..."MOM!" It was Kourtney. I poked my head out of the shower and answered, "Yes?" Here's a tip: There's no sense in acting as if you don't hear them outside of the bathroom door...they'll just stay there!

"Mama, can we go outside and play with the fuzzies?" she continued. Completely confused by this bizarre question, I replied, "What fuzzies?" Very certain of herself, she answered, "You know! The fuzzies! The fuzzies falling from the sky!"

She was talking about the fluff that looks a little like dandelion that has been floating around. "Sure," I said, "once I'm out of the shower."

She left, but her innocence, along with its message, remained with me. And it was loud and clear.

When I was focused on all the things that made me feel "fuzzy" inside, I was still able to get my work done. I spent wonderful time with family and still got a great deal of writing done. Maybe not as much writing as I would have liked, but still a great deal. And I was relaxed, happy and accomplished.

But when I set my sights on the fussiness of it all, my vision got blurred and I got stuck. Stuck on the final destination of the journey, instead of enjoying each stop along the way.

In May, I was a member of the inaugural cast of the Listen To Your Mother: Charleston show (check out my performance here). But I'm a firm believer that sometimes, we just need to listen to our children...follow their lead.

When we focus too intently on the To-Do's of life, it will inevitably cause us to lose perspective. Remember to enjoy the journey.

Less Fussing...More Fuzzies!










~How do you keep your perspective in line when the fussiness begins to take over?
Please share in the comments below!


"Hey Sis! What'chu doin' on 'butt-crack' early?"

This is what my girl, Kat, said when she called me that Thursday afternoon.

I answered. "Uh, nothing, why? What's up?"

Excitedly, she squealed, "I was just blessed with two bibs for the Cooper River Bridge Run! You wanna go?!"

Never mind the fact that I had just hours earlier asked her about going to Bokwa class with me on the same Saturday at 9 am, to which she replied, "No, it's the only time to 'sleep in,' or at least try!" Apparently, butt-crack early is an acceptable time on a Saturday morning for a wife and mom of two...but anyway.

Conveniently forgetting that she had just turned me down for Bokwa, I yelled, "Yes!"

Obviously, butt-crack early is also acceptable for me...a wife and mom of 8! Who knew?!

So I made sure my kids would be covered and excitedly prepared for a 6 mile long walk WITHOUT children in tow! YES! A dream come true! Which, now that I think about it, is probably why butt-crack early didn't seem so offensive. It was a chance to have some time to myself and with a great girlfriend.

That Saturday came, and we did it...we both participated in our very first 10K Bridge Run!

It was wonderful.

Power-walking on a beautiful day while having great conversation with a special was all I needed on an early Saturday morning.

And yet, I received so much more.

Inspiration surrounded me.

The fresh, spring air; the crisp, blue skies; the fluffy, white clouds; the gentle, cooling breeze; the feeling of being grounded, connected.

All of this surrounded me.

And as I neared the top of the bridge, this is what lay before me.

The Stairway to Heaven
The Stairway to Heaven

And then there were the messages...

Hebrews 12:1-2      All Things You Can      2 Timothy 4:7

Our conversation was great, but at some point it turned from more laughable, lighthearted topics to those a bit more serious and closer to home. We talked about family...its challenges...the obligations of supporting a loved one as they transition from one stage of life to the next.

I brought up my daughter and how she is currently transitioning from being a little girl to a young lady. This stage comes with emotions I've never felt before. I find myself feeling angry with her...angry with her for allowing the little girl I once knew fade away.

Silly. I know.

And she needs me right now. She needs me to persevere, to be strong, to do all I can, to fight the good fight, to have faith and to help her finish strong. She needs me to be her stairway...not to heaven...but definitely to the highest heights. She needs to be able to trust me to recognize her promise, lift her towards the sky and deliver her unto her greatness.

And then I saw this...

The journey is long...I'll walk you through it.

And then she did this...

When life gets tough and tires you out...I'll carry you.
And when you get tired, I'll carry you.

My heart rejoiced and broke all at the same time. All the signs were there that day...and they all pointed to my daughter.

My daughter is at that age. She's trapped in this state of longer a baby, not yet a lady. One moment, she's that sweet little girl...the next, a moody stranger with a rebellious attitude.

It's hard to deal with. So much fussing, behavior correcting and reprimanding goes on. And it makes me question if I'm doing the supportive part of my job. Am I there for her at the time when she needs me most? Am I holding her hand enough? Carrying her through?

You see, I know I am like the mother above--strong yet tender, guiding yet allowing. What I don't know is if I have been those things enough with her recently.

A large part of me just cant bear to let go of the little girl she once was. But I know the journey is inevitable. And I can either choose to join her or let her go it alone.

In my mind, her going it alone is far worse.

Sometimes our journey is not really about us.

Inspiration and thoughts of my daughter on the bridge run...

I miss this little piggy...
I miss this little piggy...